what IS this?

1) "What is Prehensile Tales?"
PT is a digital home for my phallic-centric ramblings. If I don't purge these thoughts online, they pop up in everyday conversations and get me in trouble. You'd be amazed how quickly a family gathering gets awkward when you mention "plastic fuck dolls."

It'll make more sense after you read some Tales.

Dancin' Machine! 2) "Who are you?"
Why, I am Halcyon.

3) "Where is the Ron Jeremy stuff?!"
More people find by searching for "ron+jeremy" than any other way.

"Let's Talk About Ron Jeremy" is about the ol' Hedgehog.

"me and ron jeremy" is a Tattle Tale written by an old friend of Ron's.

The second most searched for phrase? "dog+sex"

4) "Do you write all the Tales?"
Unless otherwise stated, all writing and design is by me. Occasionally I'm lucky enough to get guest writers such as my Brother, Kaya.
Guest Writers also contribute to Tattle Tales.

5) "How often is PT updated?"
It used to be every week. Now its whenever I get a whim. Check the weblog for my latest stuff.

6) "What is"
cockybastard is my webby-award winning personal site. It contains all the pics, ponderings, and playthings that don't fit in Prehensile Tales.

Lots of cheesy beefcake photos and intoxicated thoughts.

6) "What are 'Tales'?"
'Tales' are stories/gags/parodies/whatever that are short enough to read while your boss isn't looking and funny enough to make you piss your pants.

7) "Okay, then what is 'prehensile'?"
Prehensile is a word meaning "adapted for seizing or grasping" It is usually used to describe a monkey's prehensile tail. Now, I spell it "prehensile tales" so it means, "stories that'll grab ya"
The guys at the zoo all thought it was very clever.

8) "Did you get sued by Fruit of the Loom?"
Kinda, sorta. They served me with a cease and desist. Get the scoop in Suit of the Loom

9) "Are you gay?"
I wish. I'm a political bisexual. I would have sex with a man. I just haven't found one I'm attracted to yet. Women, on the other hand, leave me dizzy.

10) "Okay, then what is Tattle Tales?"
Tattle Tales is a collection of "True Stories of Sex, Madness, and The Planet," not written by me.

11) "So you take submissions?"
I prefer submisSIVES. Occasionally I do take submissions, but not at this time.

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Copyright © 1996-2002 Prehensile Tales.

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