Doggy Style
Recently I heard on the news about a gardener who was convicted of having sexual relations with one of his client's dogs. The family saw that their dog became unusually excited whenever the gardener came around. So they set up a hidden video camera and caught him in the act. Imagine gathering around the Sony for that viewing.

" Daddy, What's the gardener doing to Ruff-Ruff?
How come Ruff-Ruff's tail never wags that way when I pet him?"

Don'tcha think that if you had some sort of Dog fetish, you'd just pick up a sexy one down at the pound? This guy had a great thing going and he messed it up! If there was a county agency that had kennels full of MY fetish objects (big breasted brunette women) don't think for a minute that I would blow it by messing with my neighbor's brunette! (ed. note: If anyone IS aware of an agency like this, please e-mail me) I'd just pick one out at the pound, bring her home, and keep to myself, thank you very much.

Sex with dogs sure brings up some interesting questions. Like, Is a wagging tail considered consent? And what makes an attractive dog? Are there feminine and masculine dogs? I kind of think that all dogs are masculine; they smell bad, they're awkward, and they get excited easily. Cats on the other hand are quite feminine. They're graceful, soft, and mysterious. If I was gonna have sex with an animal, it'd definitely be a cat...cause I ain't no fag!

Speaking of acting on fetishes, If I ever decide that I'm a pedophile and want to touch little children, I'm gonna make sure I bring a circus animal with me. That way, when they haul my perverted ass into court, my lawyer can say during cross examination, "...and while Mr. Styn was touching you on your privates, you say there was a giraffe in the room?....no further questions your honor."

(I'm just saying IF)

Prehensile Tales believes "4 legs good, 2 legs bad."

Copyright © 1997 Prehensile Tales.

d e s i g n by h a l c y o n