That's not code for something dirty
a travel Tale by Kaya

My ass is sore. Normally that statement would be followed by a wild, drunken story of how I ended up spending the night in prison with my new "friends".

However, my ass is sore from a horse.

Normally *that* statement would be followed by a wild, drunken story of how I ended up spending the night in the stable with my new "friends".
yee-ha! yee-ha! yee-ha!
Anyways...I went horseback riding for the first time. This activity should be 1 and 1/2 hours long. For about this amount of time, riding is fantastic. Any time longer is sheer pain. (My ride was 8 hours... 8 minus 1.5, let's see... minus, carry the one, divide by the reciprocal, square root the remainder, cosine... Whatever. As you can see, we rode too long)

After I got over the animal-rights side of dominating this massive animal (and began to appreciate the S&M side of it... have you watched equestrian events... dominatrix riders, wearing leather boots, whipping the ass of this muscular beast?) I got into my 'Marlboro Man' mentality. I named my horse “Beige Lightening.” And later, “Old General”, as he slowed down. (Don't miss the obvious allusion to the car in The Dukes of Hazard). Then I began to gallop, (actually, the horse does most of the galloping) and yeee-freakin-hah! It was great! Racing through the trees, one arm holding on for dear life, the other waving my visor in the air... (so maybe I was more like a 'Virginia Slims' man). Anyhow, you barely notice how hard your ass is being slammed into the saddle. (Note the 'country lingo'... “saddle”.) As the day wore on and our butts became more chaffed, the novelty of galloping wore off. We rode home in the darkness, under the beautiful stars.
yee-ha! yee-ha! yee-ha!
Now for the dark side of riding horses throughn the woods: Checking your hairy buddy for ticks. Keep in mind what parts of his body he can’t check for himself. Oooh man. I have got to find a different sport to get into the Olympics.... is Lambada an event yet?

other Tales by Kaya:
"Welcome to Peru"
"Welcome to Peru II"
"Welcome to Peru III"

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