When I entered the convention floor and saw REAL LIFE porn stars blanketing the landscape, I recessed into a weird adolescent insecurity. I mean, these were women that I had jerked off to…MANY times. Some of these people were participants in fantasies that I have replayed in my head a thousand nights. I'd spent countless solitary nights nuzzling against them in my mind. These were ex-lovers who I'd never met. An odd situation to say the least. In *my* mind, we had shared extremely intimate encounters. In *their* mind, I was a stranger. The reverse progression from EXTREME intimacy to a first introduction was extremely awkward (on my end, at least). If you wanted to see a cocky bastard with all his cockiness dribbled out on a pool on the convention floor, this was the place to see it. I was intimidated. Sure, I was having a blast, but I was also scared as hell. Kinda like when I was in high school and I somehow found myself at a college party. I had a beer in my hand and pretty college girls were everyplace. No way in hell did I have the courage to *talk* to any of the girls, but I was just STOKED to be at the party in the first place. That's how I felt at the Expo. Standing in my pool of evacuated confidence…just grinning at each Porn star who walked by. |