After more time to meditate on the subject of Sesame Street, I've come to a realization: There were far more questionable influences in that show than Burt and Ernie's alternative lifestyle. The seeds that Jim Henson planted weren't nearly as benign as we thought.

It wasn't all cheery grocers and smiling yellow birds with purple eye shadow. The show was also a child's first look at Homelessness, The Occult, Schizophrenia, and Bulimia.

Homelessness:

It's no wonder we grow up fearing and misunderstanding our country's homeless. Oscar the grouch is our first exposure. I wonder how different public policy in this country would be if we grew up with "Oscar the Giddy."

The Occult:

Our kids are learning to count from a Vampire. They learn to trust a fanged bloodsucker who changes forms into a bat. Sure, they never show him sucking blood, but where do all those guest stars go the next week?

Schizophrenia:

Do you remember feeling Big Bird's frustration as he tried to explain to the gang about Snuffleuphagus? No one believed him. I think subjecting a child to the schizophrenic's experience, complete with audio/visual hallucination, is a bit much. The child sees how it feels to have no one believe you. The kid learns the painful lesson that Sesame Street is no different than the rest of the mistrusting world.

Bulimia:

Bulimia is becoming an epidemic in our country. And we can blame it all on Public Broadcasting and their agent of evil: The Cookie Monster. There's a good reason why he's not called the "Cookie Friend"!

Children tune in to the wholesome lessons of Sesame Street. They learn a song, practice their ABC's, laugh at the funny frog…everything is as pure as pie. Then WHAM! They're hit with a much more dangerous lesson: The Binge-Purge Fury of a blue-furred Beast. Parents probably don't even notice that he never swallows the cookies. He just chews them up and purges. Maybe those feminists should lay off Barbie for a bit and get to work on the real threat. He's a monster for cripes sake.

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