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FIVE WORDS

The webbies have a tradition where the speeches are only allowed to be 5 words. At first I was annoyed. After all, I want as much time on-stage as possible. But the more I heard people talk about it, the more I appreciate it. It truly does force you to be creative. Or, alternately, sound really lame. But at least you're lame and OVER QUICKLY.

The Onion's was pretty funny. They said, "They said I could only…" My favorite suggested speech was: 'If I wasn't so high on crack, I'd count my words."

I decided that the best way to get more stage time would be to do something beyond just saying the words. So when I went on stage, I said, "Let's Play" Then I stepped to the side of the podilum and commenced a game of auditorium charades.
[three words]
[1st word]
[sounds like]
[points to heel]
[then rubbed my body suggestively]
"FEEL" about 3 people yelled out. (My plants: Derek, Jason, Heather, Betty, and the Pyra crew)
[2nd word]
[small word]
"THE"
[started pounding on my chest to illustrate a beating heart]
And by that time, people had figured out that I was playing charades. So a sizable chorus of voices screamed,
"LOVE"
"Feel The Love" I said into the mike before heading back to my seat. Feeling like I just swallowed 12 hits of exstacy.

From Wired News:
"Personal site winner CockyBastard won a few new fans with his speech, a game of charades with the crowd that spelled out 'Feel the love.'"

From Wired News:
As in previous years, the real juice of the show came from the winners and the style in which they delivered their Webby-mandated five word acceptance speeches….The winner for best personal site, John Halcyon Styn danced onto the stage in a floor length white fur coat and harangued the audience to "Feel the Love!"

The only speech that I thought upstaged my was given by Michael Samyn and Auriea Harvey. For their 5 words, they kissed, long and passionately, for minutes. Their thrusting tongues projected to the size of an Audi TT on the jumbo video screen behind them. I got to met them the next day at a nicely subdued party. When I complimented their "speech," Auriea said, 'We were feeling the Love." *Smile*



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