I just got back from the dentist.
Woo-Hoo.
A routine cleaning? No, no no. I just had a
temporary crown put in. A crown is when they put a covering over a
damaged tooth. In my case, a hunk of gold. Now, I'll never sleep soundly again. I'll always have to keep one eye open watching for Nazis coming after my fillings in the
night.
What? Let me take a few steps back:
- I pierced my tongue.
- I was cool.
- I chipped my tooth.
- I felt kinda stupid.
- Then I BROKE a tooth severely enough that my lower back molar needed a crown.
- And now I'm a big, stupid, dummy-head.
Okay, I think that gets us caught up.
(Note even though it's my *face* that's totally numb right now, I'm still having exceptional trouble typing. Is it
possible the doc gave me too much Novocain and the edges of my cerebellum are dumb-ified?)
In any case, I discovered that a crown is a fairly involved procedure that requires two office visits and costs $650.
Whoa...don't skim that...Six hundred and fifty dollars!!!
No problemo, I have insurance!
Think again, Mr. Drool. Insurance only covers 50% plus the $50 deductible.
So my face is numb. And I just spent $375.
I'm feeling pretty bummed. (You ARE aware of the So. California "bummed-to-stoked" scale, yes? All states of mind fall
somewhere between the negative state of being "bummed" and the positive state of being "stoked.") And I think it's more
than the slack face and empty wallet that's got me down. This is my first prosthetic medical addition. Except for some
piercing, my body is in the same condition it was in when I got it. There was no after-market modifications like metal
plates, fillings, artificial joints, hair plugs, penis-pumps, etc.
My warranty was still good. Until today. Now I'm broken.
Maybe I'll feel better when the taste of blood leaves my numb mouth and I can form sentences without slurring.
And, yes, I am aware that I am being extremely whiny. I *am* grateful for my state of health. I am blessed. I know
that...I'm just being cranky. I'll probably be stoked when I get my super-fly gold permanent crown in two weeks...maybe
I'll get my front teeth capped in gold while I'm there. Yeah...and have them spell out "cocky bastard" in tiny rhinestones
across my front teeth!
Yeah. The novocaine has definitely affected my brain.
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