"Halcyon and the Pornography Factory"

There are some places that are just too amazing to be real.

Like Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory,
Mount Olympus,
and the annual Adult Video Awards Show and Sexpo convention.

When I was given two press passes to the AVN Awards in Vegas this January, it was like biting into a golden ticket.

I threw my digital camera, camcorder, microphone, extra tapes, and my most flamboyant clothes in the trunk of my car and drove east.

Oh, the extra ticket? That went to my girlfriend, MissM.

"What?!" you cry. "You brought your girlfriend to a porn convention!?"

First off, what kind of woman do you think I would fall in love with? Plus, I figured the odds of seducing a porn star were greatly enhanced with a beautiful woman on my arm. A single guy, especially a cocky one, is bound to be mistrusted by a worshipped sex goddess.

In addition to being Porn Star Bait, MissM also acted as camerawoman, director, and key grip for the interviews and craziness we collected for RealHouseTV.com. And when I got real insecure around the Queens of adult cinema, well, she was a bit of counselor and coach, too.