I hate sugar packets.
Not for what they are, per se. In fact, some of the actual packaging is
pretty darn cool. I like the ones with fortunes or quotes and things.
And I *love* what's inside the packages. Therein lies the problem. My
love affair with sugar is as passionate as ever.
And I hate that the packets are such blabbermouths about said affair.
You see, I take my coffee with a lot of
sugar. No biggie, right? The guy likes sugar in his coffee, no big
And as long as I can spoon or
pour those magic crystals in my cup, the quantity of sugar I use stays
unquantifiable and pretty innocuous. The worst anyone would say is I
like "a lot" of sugar. But damn if those sugar packets don't betray me.
Like some private dick flashing photos of my dirty laundry all over the
restaurants of the world -- Squealing my sweet secret to all who care to
I try to crumple all my empty packet wrappers into a shapeless clump to
disguise their number. But it never works.
No one judges a guy who uses "a lot" of sugar in his coffee. But just
watch the eyebrows raise when people notice the 8 empty sugar packet
wrappers after the first cup of joe.
Oh, sure, I've heard it all before, "It's not the packets' fault that
YOU have a problem."
Look. Unless you're my dentist, get off my back. There are worse white
crystals I could be abusing.
Besides, I can quit anytime I want to. I
just don't want to.