5.25.2001 I recently asked Colin what music he was listening to. He said, "Johnny Guitar Watson". Man, you really set a child's future in place with what you name him. What if he was "Johnny Squeegee Watson", "Johnny Royal Septor Watson"... or Johnny Beggin' Cup Watson. Well, I tell ya one thing - we'd have a lot less good blues to listen to. (Yes, "squeegee" is spelled correctly) My good friend Bennett is expecting a kid any day now and we've talked a lot about names. It's an insanely challenging and important decision. Do you wish *your* folks spent a bit more time thinking about your name? Certain names just lend themselves too much to ridicule and others have connotations of annoying people you knew growing up. You can't name your kid Trevor if the "Trevor" in your 5th grade class kept soiling himself. Tricky business. I'm sticking with my first suggestion: Kahksokker. I think it's German... so it's tease-proof.

5.22.2001 Today is my birthday. I wrote my Mom to thank her for all the love, amnionic fluid, child-rearing, art supplies, food, etc. up until now. She said, "Your welcome." Wonderful Jen made me a birthday cake (still looking for a picture of the cake) with an amazing decoration of my tattoo (below... or above) on the top. I figure I should get a tattoo of the cake design by my girlfriend of my tattoo of a painting my grandparents gave me. Make sense? I've had an amazing birthday with tons of love and friends and food. I came into work to x-mas lights on my desk, flowers, and affection. I'm a lucky, lucky man. No question. THANK YOU. Here's an amazing musical flash card my brother made for me a while back.

5.21.2001 A happy, HAPPY BIRTHDAY to the lovely MissM. Big hugs from me. You deserve a wonderful day.

It appears that Kaycee's death, and possibly her existence(?) is a hoax. Brutal. As facts come out and answers are solved, more open right up. Who did I speak to on the phone? Who exchanged hundreds of e-mail messages over the past 2 years. I hope any lasting innocence on the Web is still alive. Trusting people is a small price to pay for being duped.

5.18.2001 Bread simply needs preservatives. I bought bread from a groovy health food store and it molded before I got home. When I brought it back... they said, "What? You didn't eat it here? Yeah, you can't take those home. It's got no preservatives... it don't preserve too well.." You so much as look at non-preservative bread and it molds. "Don't open it! Just eat it with the plastic on... it'll never survive the time it takes to put on jam." What's the point? I wonder if my body will ever decompose... I mean, I continually jam-pack it with preservatives. I always kinda thought that maraschino cherry juice could be used for embalming fluid. I remember telling younger kids that if you ate enough maraschino cherries, you're body would never biodegrade. Like Michael Jackson.

5.17.2001 On a lighter note... I guess I'll have to wait until Mother's Day next year to give her a Shenis. (description)

A close friend passed away this week. Kaycee was 19 years old. When a 19 year old passes away from cancer it makes me realize how lucky I am. She was an amazing woman who touched thousands of people through her online journal. I received an e-mail a day before she passed away. She taught me much about how to live and reminded me how amazing the whole thing is. In her note to me she said, "My life's been really good. I'm pretty happy with how it turned out...wish there was more but we don't get to direct that part of it." Later on she wrote, "I just wanted you to know... I love you and I hope life gives you everything you're hoping for. You've got a great start. I know you've walked with happiness but if you need a little nudge...just check the stars...I'll be winking at you. Sending you love and sunshine kaycee ;-)" I am a fortunate man who has been served up an amazing life. Thanks for making it so remarkable.

5.15.2001 Last nite I became very thirsty while I was sleeping. So thirsty that I would've got up and had a glass of water had I not been dreaming I was on the show Survivor. In my dream, I was not allowed to get a drink - being thirsty was part of the struggle. So, I went on and on, being thirsty, and craving at least a piece of gum to moisten my dry mouth. Dreams are amazing things and I have a silly brain. I had to change my radio alarm from Howard Stern because I kept dreaming that I worked in his studio. I would go about my work and his voice would chat away in the background coming out of speakers around the office. By the time I would realize that I didn't work for Howard Stern, I'd be late for my real job... making up names for colors of nail polish. Speaking of odd jobs, I was watching Discovery Channel show on the Mayans. They had brought in two Mayan heiroglyphic specialists to decipher a new tablet they had found. Now... who teaches Mayan hieroglyphics? How many people can read them? "Yeah, I read Mayan hieroglyphics. I can't write it or speak it... but I can understand some conversational Mayan."

5.12.2001 Man, there's not much that gets me irate. Well... I take that back. There's a lot... but only enough to be broken down into 8 main categories and 34 sub-categories. But I digress. I was just watching some of the NBA playoff between the Dallas Mavericks against the San Antonio Spurs. They just called a rarely noticed foul, "3 seconds violation", which prevents a player from spending more than 3 seconds in the key (to prevent someone from just camping underneath the basket). They called this foul on the freakishly tall Morman Shawn Bradley (he stands 7 feet 6 inches) and his coach went bezerk. Was it 3 seconds? Let's go to the replay! During the slow-motion replay, the brillant announcer begins his countdown. "One-thousand ONE, One-thousand-TWO, One-thousand THREE.... yep, he was in the key too long." Did I mention this was being showed in SLOW-MOTION? You wanna see a 5 hour violation? Lemme see the 'pause' button. I've said it once, and I'll say it again. Slow-motion is tricky business.

5.10.2001 I'm making a call to arms for graffiti. Good graffiti. I'm talking about sneaking out under the cover of darkness and planting flowers in people's yards, sweeping driveways, or trimming hedges. You'd wake up and... "Wha? Why are there Petunia's in my yard? Damn those guerilla gardeners!" Time for more random acts of gardening.

5.9.2001 OH MY GOODNESS!!! I'm going to Australia for FREE! Wow... I'm still tripping on this. Contiki Tours wants to take someone from CollegeClub.com (we are doing some deals with them) and I get to go. I'll write about my experience and we'll use it on the site. The trip is incredible. But I leave soon, May 25th (and return June 5th)! Lots to do... and I'll be gone over my brother's birthday. Ugh. I don't want to miss it, but this is an amazing opportunity. Here's my trip. Yeeee-hah!!!

5.8.2001 I'm lagging. Life continues to amuse me... but keep me occupied as well. I *may* have a chance to go to Australia for free... keep your fingers crossed.

5.4.2001 I know it seems dorky, but I'm really starting to enjoy the optional"Hawaiian Shirt Fridays" I think I even prefer it over "half-shirt Tuesday" and "Unitard Thursday".

5.2.2001 Tragically absurd: This past weekend I saw a sticker of Calvin (from the brilliant comic strip Calvin & Hobbes) peeing on the letters A.C.L.U. I'm sure Bill Watterson, who never licensed Calvin & Hobbes items, (he considered it true art and he felt his art didn't need to be on sticky pads and t-shirts. Garfield, I'm looking in your direction...) is pleased that his art is used to urinate on car manufacturer symbols, and (finally) the American Civil Liberties Union. Darn, freedom protectors.

5.1.2001 I was directed to a profile on CollegeClub.com that featured 90 photoshopped pictures of tiny men (mostly naked) getting crushed by hot women with high heels on. Miniature men pierced by 50 ft tall sexy women. Mostly taken from this site. Odd? Yes. But I love that folks are aroused by different things. And this is some wacky, wacky stuff in my book. But rock on... as long as you're not hurting anyone, photoshop away! Trippy world. Me? I'm good with Gary Coleman jump-roping in tight red shorts and a leather dog collar, thank-you-very-much.