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162 games?!! Wha? Look, I love my grandma, and a fat
slice of apple pie is as good for breakfast as it is for
dinner, but my god... 162 baseball games a year is
absurd. Each team must compile 4374 outs per year to
complete a season or 131,220 outs for all of Major
League Baseball. Think about it visually: If you were to
represent each out of a MLB season with a Ping-Pong
ball, you would have over 130,000 Ping-Pong balls.
What on earth would you do with that many Ping-Pong
balls!? (I know what you're thinking, the home team
doesn't bat if they are ahead in the ninth inning... but
that's still a lot of Ping-Pong balls.) Baseball needs 162
games like it needs another team uniform to have teal in
it.
Aside from fantasy league statistic zealots and 11
year-olds who memorize the Beckett's Price Guide to
follow their baseball card portfolio, no one cares about
162 games of baseball. Any season where you don't
play your best players every game is too long. If the
players need a rest, what about the poor fans! I'm not
saying I make it to work every single day, (drinking in
the mornings and complaining about baseball make me
sleepy) but for an employee earning $20,000 to $70,000
per game I expect participation.
Look, I could back up my claim that 162 a year is too
many games with a lot of so called "facts" to "support"
my "ideas" but you and I both know that plan reeks of
me having to sober up.
What it comes down to is this: I was actually switching
channels between pitches recently (to some USA
Network sexy drama). And we know that this has little
to do with my short attention span and giddy loins and
everything to do with baseball having 131,220 outs per
season. If you can say that you still enjoy watching
Sportscenter baseball highlights this late in the season
(McGwire and Sosa excluded) then I take it all back. In
fact, I'll end this tirade right now and spend every
waking
moment educating townsfolk why the letter "K" is used
to represent "Strikeout" in a baseball box score.
If you do decide to attend a baseball game this year (or
0.62% of the season) can I ask a favor? Let the wave
die. Hey, I loved her in 1984 too, back when she was
young and strong. But let her go. It's like the guy
wearing
his high school letterman jacket through college. Be
brave little trooper, move on. Besides, we have
Macarena nights and Beanie Baby giveaways to
entertain us now.
Crossing Over the Line SuperBowl Wrestling vs. Porno |
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