An article I wrote about Australia for CollegeClub is up on the main page for Saturday. Considering the restrictions, it turned out okay!
I leave for Burning Man in a few hours... I'm so freaking excited!
I'll be back after Labor Day! *smooch*
8.21.2001
Trojan condoms now have "Extended Pleasure" condoms to prevent premature ejaculation. They, "incorporate a climax control lubricant to extend the love-making experience." Man, does *that* sound miserable. Numbing cream is for wussies. I prefer the good old-fashioned method of wearing 7 condoms simultaneously and thinking about George "the animal" Steele.
While driving with Ollie through a Hispanic part of town we saw a billboard that promoted the drink combo "Clamato y Tequila". I don't know where to begin to tell you what's wrong with that drink. I can barely think of it without tightly closing my mouth to prevent any clam-mixed drink from entering.
It'll always be Buttermilk & Gin for me, thankyouverymuch.
8.20.2001
I had my 10 year high school reunion this past weekend. It was a blast to see some old friends and see who has changed, expanded, multiplied, and improved. In a freakish, chad-balloted, Floridian mishap I was named "Hottest Male Alumni". The nice thing is I'm pretty sure the crown they gave me has real gems in it. Or are those rubies? (The school colored pom-pom was also given to me... I didn't bring my own. Who knew it was BYOPP?)
Winner of most likely to wear a plastic crown to his reunion...
8.17.2001
I saw this in the parking structure...and thought it was so great. Also, this person is a fire chief...really. Someday, with a lot of work, I'll be Chief Burner.
All praise Chief Burner!
8.15.2001
I saw the greatest license plate yesterday. It read "I LIKE U". How cool is that? It's the opposite of a vanity plate. (I tried to get "I HATE U" but there was a waiting list. Each person on the list silently hoping the one in front of them would die.) I tried to yell out "I like you too!" but I think it came out more like "I hiked K2". Which... is actually quite an accomplishment (hiking K2, not being misunderstood).
8.13.2001
Well, my folks and Jen's folks met this weekend. A little brunch, some good conversation, and a lot of smiles. I wasn't really worried, but I'm still glad it went well.
On an unrelated note, I was fixing up a bike for Burning Man this weekend. I'm not a handy man, but I had out my tool case and was using a 'turny-thing' and one of those 'gripper-ma-jigs' to help the bike run better. While testing it out, a car drove by and a woman flashed me. That has never happened before and I truly couldn't figure out why my luck had just changed. Needless to say I quickly ran inside and made a classy "show us your tits" sign. The rest of my afternoon proved to be less rewarding.
8.9.2001
Last night I sustained an injury that my father has never had to endure. I burned my thumb while using a glue gun to put blue fur on my shoes (to match the pants that Jen made me for Burning Man). I guess we just have different styles.
8.8.2001
I am Mr. Clean. Well, I'm not a pretty bald man, but I have been cleaning. Jen's folks are visiting for a week. They arrive tomorrow and are staying with us. Of course we've cleaned our place before, but this is like the Super Bowl. No holding back - you gotta go for it. Clean the window sills, put away the porn, wipe down the shower, take down the dungeon, dust the TV... the whole deal.
8.4.2001
Last night I did the most chivalrous thing I've ever done. And one of the grossest. While out bowling, my girlfriend realized that she did not have on socks. This would mean that she'd have to have the whored out, shared bowling shoes touching her skin. I, however, *was* wearing socks.
I lent her my socks and put on the sticky plastic shoes. The inside was slightly torn up and little pieces of plastic poked up to remind me that these were not new. My only solace was that no one in their right mind would ever have worn them without socks before me... and that they had been somehow "disinfected" by the 1/18 of second pass by with Lysol spray.
At least I had an excuse for my poor bowling performance.
8.2.2001
The news rules... (I've always thought drugs and Mexican food went well together.)
