It's time for action. A internet boycott, if you will.

    Stop buying anything from internet advertisers until they make better banner ads.

    There are some good ads, but most have the wit and subtlety of used car-salesmen TV spots. I realize you gotta do what you gotta do to get people to visit your site, but please!? These are two specific banner ad techniques that really bug the crap out of me:

   

    I hate the freakin' fake navigational stuff on banners-- Like pretend pull-down menus. Or scroll-bars that don't work. They're graphics of pull down menus…not actual functioning pull-downs. So if you try to scroll, it counts as "clicking" on the banner, and you're taken to the advertiser's site (against your will). Does anyone buy something after they've been tricked? I have a hard time believing that people say:

"What? Hey!? Why you little rascals! You got me! Tee, hee. Ah, what the heck, someone as sneaky as you folks must have a quality selection of porn! Here's my credit card"

    #2) Overuse of the phrase "CLICK HERE!"

    Apparently some study showed that people are more likely to click on ad banners that say, "click here!"

    Well, I'm sick of it. Please stop clicking on anything that says, "click here."

    Maybe if we all stop clicking on those words, Internet advertisers will stop putting it on everything.

    I can't believe "click here" really get's people to click.

    Are we friggin' cattle?

    "CLICK HERE!"

    Okay. Whatever you say.

    "ENTER CREDIT CARD HERE."

    Okay.

    "KILL THE PRESIDENT "

    Okay. MoooOOOOOOO.

    Do we need clicking instructions? Do we not understand the concept of clicking?

    How does anyone ever get off the Netscape homepage if they don't understand that "clicking here" will take you to a new destination.

    If you see an ad banner of a site that you'd like to visit, are you ever confused about your course of action?

    Do you start screaming at the screen?

"YES! Hello!? COMPUTER!? I'd like to visit Pete's Porn Palace!…Hello?! Damnit! I guess my computer is broken. I better call tech support."

    At the mall, what if every store had a huge blinking sign that said, "OPEN THIS DOOR!"

    I don't know about you, but that kind of advertising makes me run in the other direction.

    It sounds condescending. I feel like the ad reads:

"Hello! You are on the 'INTERNET' by rolling your 'MOUSE' on top of this picture and pressing down on your mouse 'BUTTON' you will be able to buy our product!"

    Hey, I guess you do what you gotta do to get people to the ol' Porn Palace.

    Well, if you can't beat 'em...