How did the advertising wizards at Fruit of The Loom convince the homophobic consumers of our nation to cradle their manly organs in a binding piece of clothing with the word "Fruit" on it?!
I would have thought "Meat of the Loom" would be better targeted at the average American male.
Their actual marketing strategy was so bizzare it bordered on science fiction;
They dressed up grown men in fruit costumes.
What were these stoners thinking? I can only guess that they were shooting for that whole 70's "Lucy In the Sky with Diamonds" tie-dye market.
The Fruit of the Loom Company was able to prosper using a man in a foam rubber bunch-of-grapes costume (including purple leggings) -This is proof that use of psychedelics was much higher in this country than experts thought.
And I wonder what the campaign development process was like? What kind of ideas came up in the brainstorming session before they finally settled on "Fruit of the Loom"
Fruit of the Loins
Banana in my Briefs
Looming Fruit (In my Undies)
Fruit of the Looming Penis
Fruit Bowl Briefs
Fruit in the Room
Fruit Salad in my Pants
Crotch full of Produce
Finally, and I wasn't going to bring this up, but have you ever wondered what a "loom" was?
If you look it up, you might first see the obvious definition and continue on your merry, ignorant way.
a "loom" can mean,
"A machine or device from which cloth is produced."
But the dictionary dweller with a veteran view of corporate conspiracy would look further.
There are 3 other definitions of "loom." Each equally frightening.
- "To appear to the mind in a magnified and threatening form"
This certainly gives weight to the psychedelic drug use/men in fruit costumes theory.
"The shaft of an oar"
Could the Phallic reference be more blatant?
- L.O.O.M also stands for the "Loyal Order of Moose"
No shit. Look it up.
Want to guess what the next Cease and Desist will be for?
Smack, Crack, Pot
Family Circus Sideshow(18 & up please)
Yes, I was on STUDS
or McRibbed for Her Pleasure?
Actually, if you want to know the REAL history of the Fruit of the Loom logo, you can visit their corporate juggernaut website by clicking here.
Prehensile Tales prefers boxers. |
Copyright © 1997 Prehensile Tales.
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